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Steven Wright Quotes:
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'
  — Steven Wright
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
  — Steven Wright
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
  — Steven Wright
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
  — Steven Wright
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
  — Steven Wright
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